Sam the Man

Dear Nigel, In UKIP manifesto, can you include compulsory I.D. cards for ALL British subjects living within the boundaries of The U.K. Proof of being a British subject will qualify for I.D. card. Aliens who qualify for employment would need to carry an Aliens Certificate which would be renewable every six months. Immediate arrest if neither are in possession when asked for by Police Officer. No proof? Then saddle up and move out ! Simple remedy to most of our problems.

Solve our overpopulated status AND illegal aliens.?? Simple. Issue I.D. cards without amnesty. Prove you are a British subject or move out.

Barak Obama and David Cameron are shown a time machine which can see 100 years into the future.

They both decide to test it by asking a question each.

Barak goes first.

“What will the USA be like in 100 years time?”

The machine whirs and beeps and goes into a_ction and gives him a printout, he reads it out

"The country is in good hands under the new president, crime is non-existent, there is no conflict, the economy is healthy. There are no worries”

David thinks “I...

A police officer sees a guy driving around with a pick-up full of penguins. he pulls the guy over and says "Yew can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately".

The says OK and drives away. next day the officer sees the guy still driving around with the penguins and they are all wearing sunglasses. He pulls the guy over and demands,

" I told you yesterday to take those penguins to the zoo!"

Guys says " I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach"

1994 325D Auto. Getting gearbox slipping when cold. Seem to be getting all different reasons and cures but i am getting confused. I have been told that the bands can be adjusted. Is this true or alternatively what other model gearbox is compatible. That has been another suggestion.